Uterus Out On Lunch, Be Back In 5 Years

I wanted a son. I want a son. A little guy to love his Mama best and think his best sister is the coolest in the world. I remember the agony of waiting and anticipation of the bated-breathe genre to meet your child. I know the (possible) next time around, I won't be so fearful, I could enjoy the process more... The planning of the perfect nursery, washing baby clothes, holding and nursing your child for the first time.

UGH, fucking hormones.

Everybody said that once the first child is about two, that's when moms start wanting another. I HATE when everybody is right. Luckily, although heavily swayed by hormones and impulse (hence Lola) I am not entirely ruled by such hasty factors and I do have common sense.

Therefore, a list:

Excellent Reasons Why Having Another Child Is a Stupid Fucking Idea:
1. No house
2. No boyfriend
3. No money
4. 4+ years of school STILL
5. Loans, car payments
6. Love having my body to myself
7. Can't fit groceries and 2 car seats in my car
8. Only 23!
9. HATE pregnancy!!!!!!
10. Work full-time, school part-time

These crazy baby-thoughts don't appear out of thin air however, I've had help. Example A: Tee seems to be mentioning Lo's babyhood an awful lot lately, with a tone of wistfulness that I admit to feeling as well. Example B: He's been teasing me about admitting to wanting another child but when he mentions the future there is an "s" after kid, as is more than the one we have right now. Example C: After mentioning my boobs hurt (the only symptom of getting my period, hurray Mirena!) he said "maybe you're pregnant" in a jovial, ha-ha kind of way that contained more than a hint of hope.

AHHHHHH! Admittedly, we do work well as a parental team but that's a really bad reason to create another child if we're unsure of our long-term compatibility. Who created my loathesome enemy, the pituitary gland!?

For the sake of ourselves and especially Lo, I will be installing an electric fence around my vulva and one of those spiky anti-rape tampons where instead of mauling the intruding penis, it'll inconsolably wail with a newborns cry for 3 hours. Ha, self! Try and get horny now...

Oh yeah, and I'll leave my IUD in til it's time to get another installed...