It's taken me almost 24 years, but I've discovered my superhero talent: causing breakups. Cool huh?
Not to be confused with a run-of-the-mill "other woman," my powers don't require flirting, shagging or even speaking with a member of the doomed couple. I merely wish them broken up, and it happens.
You know that old adage, be careful what you wish for? Not a joke. I've wished for Sexy Nesto AND Sexy Adjuster to be broken up with their mates and lo and behold:
Nesto's ex is moving out of the house in a week's time and Adjuster's wife has filed for a divorce and they are both asking me for some lovin'
Now, I realize this may be a blessing I should take advantage of (having caused this chaos with superpowers) but I'm a bit worried about dealing with men who have very recently gotten out of decade+ relationships.
My goal: I will be extremely clear that I am not Wifey II material.
Since I've had Nesto mention Lo and I moving in with him and how cute our children would be (as in: not our existing daughters but children we should create together- yikes!) and Adjuster ask if I'd like to meet his children, who were born while I was still in my early teens, this can't be put off...
Will this become more and more common as I get older? Men looking to tie me down forever and ever and ever? Sccccaaaaarrrrryyyy....