The Merits of Being Single aka Life Without Tee

First off, I would like to make clear that Pee is not my mother-in-law and even when Tee and I would speak of marriage, her looming busybody presence would pop into mind, making me recoil from the idea.

Pfhhh, who needs a piece of paper from the city that legally chains me to that woman? NOT ME! That's obviously the greatest thing about being broken up with Tee, being (somewhat) free of his mother.

But I have a lot of things that I really like about being single. Here's a list:

I can flirt with anyone and everyone, and do.

I am free to explore my crushes, which at this time include women, a first.

I can dispassionately examine my long-ass leg hair in the shower and dismiss the idea of shaving without ever really thinking about it.

I can listen to the blues, Bob Dylan, copious amounts of Tom Petty, or super-sappy hippy love music and Lola and I can warble as loud as we want without getting condescending looks from Tee or worse, having it turned off without permission, mid-warble.

I can rearrange my food while in a restaurant and not get made fun of for being discerning.

I can change my clothes four times a day if I wish.

I wear granny panties.

I sleep on my bed without sheets, just a mattress and blanket.

I don't have to fold Tee's laundry anymore

I don't have to listen to Tucker sing

No more smelling disgusting energy drinks, no more cleaning up debris (often energy drink cans) left in my car.

No more mood swings to deal with (his, not mine) except for Lola but since our mood swings often coincide, I'm OK with hers.

When I go to do laundry, there isn't a load of clothes hanging out in dirty, murky water because the cycle was stopped before spin, what is the point of doing a load then? I never got that.

No more video games!

Tucker is in school, enjoys it and by all accounts will be good at what he's studying.

I hang out with my friends, often overnight. We plan and follow thru with weekend get-aways, I have time to make new friends.

I can watch foreign films without getting scoffed at.

I get Monkey all to myself.

Most weekends are mine to do with as I please. Since Tee has Lola, I get to go shopping (without $ of course), sleep in, clean, watch movies, relax as needed. I can go out and do whatever I want with whoever I want, I answer to nobody on the weekends. That's really nice.

I get a huge bed to myself, until Monkey, Lola, Binky and Uma join me in it. Hmmm. Maybe this should be in the other category.

I can cut my hear-hair as short as I want, I grow my body-hair as long as I want.