I'm siiiiiiiiick. (Did you the reader imagine that sentence with enought Etta-whine in it? Maybe you should go back and try again, in the most pathetic whine you can muster...)
Who gave me this sickness? Unknown but when I find out, why I oughtta.... No, it doesn't matter who got me sick but who I got sick and I know that Jay's gonna be calling me in a few days, saying something about his sore, sore throat. Haha, warned ya fucker, but nooooo, you had to smoke pot with me, right then and there...
Point is, I'm sick and infectious and spreading my ever-lovin' germs so although there's a lot of fun shit going on this weekend (as always) I will be staying home, reading, catching up on couch-time.
Second matter of import: Lola is potty training! And I got to witness it last night. Cue sappy Lifetime music which screams: "mother and daughter bonding" and there we are, in the bathroom.
E: Ok Lo, undies down, you can do this
L: Taking her hand from her Mama's and de-clothing like a Llanas champ, takes a seat on her potty throne
E: (sitting down like a humble petitioner at the foot of the throne) Squeeze girl, squeeze!
L: urghhh, smile at her goofy behavior, tinkle, tinkle SMILE!
E: Hell yes, you are a potty GENIUS!! How did you get so smart? Mommy made you that way because of all the cheese fries she ate, you are the smartest little girl in the entire world, hurrah! (High-pitched mom-voice of course)
L: urghhhh, plop plop
E: POOP TOO? AMAZING, you are too cool for school little girl. Tinkle and poop! I'm flabbergasted!
L: when Lola hears the word "poop" FLIES off the toilet into my arms and creeps back to peer into the pot from a safe distance. "POOP?"
E: It's ok honey, pooping is fun.
Conclusion: if the John's Root Beer cheese fries I ate while pregnant made my child a genius (doubtful) then all the weird stomach issues I got from said cheese fries must've made my child afraid of pooping.
I'm so proud of you Lo!